I’m realizing that I come highly predisposed to imbalance in my relationships. My natural tendencies and things I learned, in childhood are solitude and isolation, in which a relationship lives out in my mind more than it lives out in what you’re describing as “the richness of intimacy and interaction.” I think I’ve been aware of this in other ways, but as it relates to relationships I’m looking obviously to grow past that. If you could share anything, point me in the right direction?

It’s really interesting through meditation, when we’re out in the world we can realize, “Oh, I’m just about to become really angry.” And you want to work on that, but it’s impossible. “Okay, I’m going to be really angry,” and you feel yourself starting to heat up. You can recognize it. That’s something you’ve talked about. But, there’s so many different levels of it. You think you’ve handled it, then all of a sudden it just comes back at you, this huge wave. And then, “Okay, I can work on it coming back.” Is there a strategy for letting some of it go? How do you steam out so that it doesn’t keep catching you?

Is there a difference between rest and observe? The reason I ask the question, I’ve been taught to observe, watch my breath. For instance, in my mind, the way I think, I watch it, I observe it, and I don’t deal with it or experience it. I just watch it. When you say “rest,” which is the first time I’ve heard that expression in this context, that to me says immediately that I’m going to experience it. I’m going to involve myself in it in some way. So I guess my question is, what is the difference between the two?

I would like to know how to bring the meditation into daily life. How, in the moment, to be able to respond rather than react? The more insecure and scared I feel, the less I remember—in the moment—to pause, and the more I respond habitually, usually not with kindness and compassion, unfortunately.