Expressions of power


Ken: So, I walk in here with a sword and there are a bunch of giggles. Why is that?

Student: I’m being flippant. Women always laugh at men carrying big swords.

Ken: I’m not sure how much I want to pursue that one. Why do women laugh at men carrying big swords?

Student: It’s Freud’s fault.

Ken: That’s probably true, but suppose we go back the time before Freud, then what? So for how many of you was this a Freudian reflex? I tend to doubt it actually. So I walk in with a sword. Not everybody, but a number of people giggle, not just the women. What’s going on? Alex.

Alex: It’s an inappropriate assertion of power in this context.

Ken: It’s an inappropriate assertion of power. Say more. One: how is it an assertion of power? Two: how is it inappropriate?

Alex: It’s an implied threat that you might cut someone up, and that’s clearly inappropriate.

Ken: Oh, you’re saying my walking in with a sword is an inappropriate assertion of power. I want to know why people laugh.

Alex: That’s the funny part. It’s inconceivable that you would express that power.

Ken: Interesting. Okay. Anybody else.

Student: Anyone who’s been to more than one retreat knows there’s something coming and that’s just—how can I say it—a larger-than-life demonstration about what’s about to come.

Ken: I think you’re getting closer, but you’re in the outer peripheries. Anybody else? Laura? You had a thought.

Laura: Oh, I have two thoughts. Actually. One is that it’s unexpected. And so that produces a kind of, there’s an absurdity quotient or an unexpected …

Ken: Unexpected and absurd. That’s two different things. There’s an unexpected. Okay. Unexpected.

Laura: Second thought that I had was that it’s a way of diffusing anxiety.

Ken: Ah, what’s the anxiety? Well, first let’s take a poll. How many—when they saw the sword—felt some anxiety.? Okay. So what’s the anxiety? You don’t have to answer, you can pass it to one of your colleagues here.

Melissa: Two things. I think one is a sword is a weapon. Fear. The other is: what are you going to do with it?

Ken: Interesting. Anybody else? So, Valerie, in for a penny, in for a pound,

Valerie: Just to add to what Melissa said: I have some anxiety that you are going to ask me to engage with that sword in some way or another.

Ken: Why on earth would this cause you anxiety?

Valerie: If you came running at me with it or swung it at my head I’d be forced to act.

Ken: And what would be wrong with being forced to act? I do that all the time. Don’t I?

Valerie: Yeah, it doesn’t take the anxiety away though. And the other part of it is you might put it in my hands and expect me to do something with it.

Ken: And what would be anxiety-provoking about that?

Valerie: He’d maybe asked me to cut off your head. I’m not sure it’s rational or it’s totally … I can’t plumb the depths of it by words. I just experience it.

Ken: Kim, you had something to say on this.

Kim: You frequently put people in a position that’s completely untenable where they don’t know what to do. And they just seize up.

Ken: I don’t recall casting any aspersions your away.

Kim: I’m just stating fact here.

Ken: I put people in an untenable position frequently.

Kim: I don’t know how frequently you do it, but …

Ken: How many of you have experienced me putting you in an untenable position? Wow. I’m impressed with me. I didn’t know I had that effect. What’s the problem with an untenable position? Carolyn.

Carolyn: Hi, I’m Carolyn. One of my short suits is confrontation. And when you bring up something like that, it kind of puts it right in my face and I have to do something.

Ken: So, does untenable mean not knowing how, operationally?

Pat: I’m going to just wing it. I think untenable means that you feel like either option is not going to be a winning option for you.

Ken: Okay. So this translates into: you’re in a position that’s possible that you don’t want to be there. It’s possible that you don’t know how to negotiate this position. Well, it’s possible that you don’t have the capacity to negotiate this position. Maybe you don’t have the strength literally or figuratively. Have any of you run into any situations involving power or any of that has been the case? So perhaps it would be worthwhile to you to learn about how to negotiate such situations. Is that conceivable? Pardon? It’s not conceivable or you just don’t want to have anything to do with this?

Student: There are some situations where no matter how clever you are, there is an imbalance of power that you can’t negotiate.

Ken: That’s interesting. How many of you believe that? How many of you have been in positions where you were completely helpless. Okay. One person. Okay. What was that your perception or was that the case?

Student: What’s the difference if it’s your perception or if it’s the case?

Ken: Well, you’re quite right to ask that. Let me modify it slightly. Was it a consequence of your projection or was it actually the case? Now, you don’t have to answer this. I just want to explore a number of things.

So here you are. And there’s a spectrum. Oh, I just wanted to ask one question. Was anybody curious when I walked in with a sword? Was anybody both curious and anxious? Okay. Was anybody interested? Ahh. Did anybody feel a little more awake? Maybe not such a bad thing.

Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do today. This is a sword. It’s actually a replica of a sword. It’s a replica of a Viking sword. We know this because of the emblem of the ravens on the hilt here. Because it’s a replica it’s made of higher quality steel than the Vikings had. As a consequences, it’s not quite in balance. Ordinarily you hold a sword in here and it should just hang. You’ll find that in this one the blade wants to drop because the blade is heavier than it should be. I’m just telling you this because you need to know it. The sword in most cultures is a symbol for power.

It’s a weapon as some of you have pointed out. Weapons were developed for the purpose of killing. Why would you kill? One reason?

Anybody else? Okay. So it could be defense and it could be for the purpose of taking that which doesn’t belong to you. Pillaging. Right? Any other reasons?

Food. Okay. Alex? Vengeance, all sorts of reasons. Okay. All of these one way or another are an expression of power and defense. You may be defending a boundary or you may be violating a boundary. Vengeance is in most cases, possibly not at all, a distorted expression of defending a boundary. Food is an expression of maintaining one’s world. They’re all expressions of power.

Forming a relationship with power


Ken: When you hold in your hand an instrument which is a symbol for power, you have to form a relationship with power. Isn’t that why most of you came here? So that’s what we’re going to do: straight into the body. This is not theoretical. It’s not conceptual. It’s direct. So what we’re going to do this afternoon is a little ceremony. Each of you is going to take hold of the sword and feel what it’s like to hold a sword. If any of you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to, you have this opportunity. I know there are some here who’ve had this opportunity in the past and declined. It’ll be interesting to see what they do today. I don’t know.

So, the first thing that happens here is that each of you makes a choice, right here, right now, as to whether you want to form or establish this kind of relationship with power. This is not something I will make you do. You may think, oh, there’s a lot of peer pressure. That’s just evading your own responsibility. You’re all grown adults. Each of you can make your own decision. There isn’t a matter of ostracism. This is not a tribe. You won’t have to run the gauntlet and be expelled from the tribe. By the way, does anybody know what a gauntlet is? No. As in run the gauntlet? Carolyn.

Carolyn: I think it’s a row of people on each side. Either they could have all kinds of weapons and you have to make it through …

Ken: That’s right. In tribes, when somebody broke a taboo and they were faced with expulsion from the tribe, they could either leave or they could run the gauntlet and people in the tribe lined up on either side and they could have anything they wanted in their hands, any weapon. And the person had to walk or run, if they wished, down the middle. If they were still alive at the end, they were readmitted to the tribe. Some people were able to walk down that and nobody touched them. So this notion of running a gauntlet is also an exercise in power. Their power was such, nobody touched them. You might think of that, what that would be like for you. Okay? So, but we’re not doing that here, you’re not running. Maybe we should, you know, that might be something to do tomorrow. I think we should look into that. I’d like that idea. Oh, there’s some very interesting things that come from tribal stuff. There’s some very unfortunate things too. You’re going to be hearing more about swords as we go forward in the retreat. But I won’t say anymore at this point, but you’ll notice the sword has two edges.

Warrior vs. predator


Ken: So when you hold it up, it cuts in two directions. One, it cuts into the world there, whatever you’re facing. The second edge cuts into you. Here, I’m holding it, it cuts into me. This is the distinction between a warrior and a predator. The predator’s sword only cuts in one direction—out. They do not feel the effect of the cutting. Everything is an object in their world to be taken and used for their own end. But in the way that we’re talking about power, that’s in the story I told this morning, when you use power, it cuts inside too.

And you feel that. And if you don’t feel it, it means you’re not present. It means you’re not in your own experience. So each of you is going to come up and for the men, I’ll be holding the sword. For the women, Gail will be holding it. And the reason for that, it’s important for you to take the sword from someone of your own gender. As I say, this is voluntary, do it whatever order you wish, at whatever point. You have to take the sword, it’s not given. This is another principle of power. Power is never given. Authority may be given but to exercise authority, you have to have a relationship with power. Power cannot be given. It’s the quality, the gesture, each of us has to develop in ourselves.

When you take the sword feel it’s weight in exactly the same way that we were talking this morning and last night about that pushing. There’s a weight here. You know, if you aren’t ready for it, you’ll go … So, instant feedback. That’s where it starts. You take it and you draw it, hold it up. Look at it and look at the edge that cuts into you. Feel the cut because when you hold an implement or an instrument such as this, your body knows what it’s for. Many years ago, there was a woman in her 50s at that time, she was all of five feet. And this is when my office was in Orange County. And I took out the sword and she took it and she held it for the rest of the session like this. It just fit. She was right there with it.

So feel it. Feel the edge that cuts into you because as you feel this, you will start forming a relationship with power immediately. And all of the old pains, everything that keeps you from having or exercising that relationship with power will be up. This is the wound. You feel that right here, pain. So let that open and just feel it. This is how you know you’re alive and present. If you don’t feel it. I don’t know how many of you saw the movie, The Unforgiven, Clint Eastwood’s thing several years ago. You may recall the scene where the new, the would-be bounty hunter says, “When do you stop feeling the pain?”

Then Clint Eastwood says, “You start worrying when you stop feeling the pain because something’s gone dead inside.” So you feel that. Then you step forward, bend your knees slightly. And I want you to take a single cut with the sword, which will be something like this. Now, this is about four, six pounds somewhere in there. But the angular momentum that will be required will be about 60 pounds. Just doing that. So don’t do it this too quickly. Make sure you do it. I’m asking you to make sure your left foot is back. Cause we don’t really want people cutting their left foot. These little practical things … and just feel it. You don’t have to do it fast. And I would, since most of you are not familiar with a sword, I don’t want you to do it fast, but I want you to feel that cut.

And what are you cutting? You’re cutting everything that prevents you from having a relationship with power. For some of you that may be images of people in your past, but all of it is all in here. So that’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to take it, feel, let the wound open, feel it all, step forward and cut. Then put the sword back in the sheath and return it to the person from whom you took it. Any questions? The gender? Well, if you’d take it from someone other than your own gender, you may feel that you have to depend on that gender, that other gender for power. That would not be helpful. There’s enough of that in this culture. We don’t need to add to it. Yeah, it’s in you. You need to know that. Okay.

Any other questions? Right? Well, I’d like you to come up here. Oh, well we’ll both be standing in a moment. You can sit until we’re ready. And I’d like you people to clear out to the side a little bit. I think you’re all right at the back. I’ve done this before in a number of circumstances, strange things can and do happen. So I’d like to have a little bit of room. When you’re ready, come forward. Okay. Are we on?

The four ways of working


Ken: The sword has also been a symbol for awareness. In Buddhist iconography Manjushri holds the sword of intelligence. It figures in numerous folk tales and myths. Awareness can work in many different ways. And we usually describe this in terms of the four ways of working. It can also be described in other ways. Do you have your notes on the mysteries here?

Awareness is involved in the implementation of one’s intention. That’s one kind of cutting. You just go. You do.

Awareness is also involved in opening. Opening to what is.

Awareness is also involved in seeing into. Seeing into how things work so that you know what to do. That’s always experienced as a cutting. It’s one of the reasons why in the student teacher relationship, the student has to trust that when the teacher sees into them, it is for the student’s benefit, not for the teacher’s. Because the function of the teacher is to see into the student and point that out to the student. This doesn’t work so well in intimate or marital relationships. Insight’s not the appropriate gesture there.

And awareness is also present in the exercise of compassion, which is being present without trying to control. It makes leadership and service possible.

Five mysteries associated with power


Ken: There are five mysteries associated with power. One we’ve been talking about, which is power itself, mixing awareness with the experience of change so that you do what you intend to do and not something else.

There’s also balance. And balance is a kind of mystery. It’s knowing, being, and acting at the point at which your experience arises. So, it’s another expression of awareness. When each of you are holding the sword and you had to balance its weight in your hand, that’s not something you could think about. But letting your body know, be, and act, you’re able to hold and wield the sword. That’s a good example of balance. In our lives, when we move out at the point at which experience arises, then we’re operating in some other world. We are not operating in what is actually happening. So it’s not surprising that things got screwed up a little bit.

Awareness is also exercised in presence, being fully in the experience of what is arising externally and internally. Most people are either in one or the other. When they’re in what is arising externally, they’ve shut down to what’s arising internally. So it just runs and often ends up taking over the whole show. When they are in what is arising internally, they aren’t aware of what is arising externally and things don’t go so well. Part of our work here is to open the possibility of being in both at the same time and seeing what happens then.

Awareness is also associated with truth. Truth is a problematic concept for many. A lot of people feel that if they could know the truth, then they’d know what to do and be able to do it. We find this in the Bible, know the truth and the truth shall make you free. That’s nonsense. Truth is what is. You need to know it. But that in itself is not enough. There’s also knowing what to do and being able to do it.

And finally, there’s freedom. I want to suggest to you that freedom is not a state that you achieve. It is not something you get. Rather, it is a way of experiencing things. It is an experience itself. There are people who’ve been incarcerated in jail who found freedom in jail. That’s a way of experiencing things. So it’s intimately connected with awareness. When you have a relationship with power, you may experience freedom. It opens that possibility.

In terms of awareness, we don’t get to do whatever we want. Any of you who have expertise in any area know the more you know about an area, the fewer possibilities arise, not in the negative sense of restriction, but because you’re experts in that arena you see exactly what is possible and what isn’t. Those unfamiliar with that think there are many things possible. That through your knowledge and experience you say, well, if you want that to happen, then it has to be done this way. And that’s it. So the irony, if you wish, or the paradox is the more aware we become the less freedom in the common conception of the term we have. Yet we do experience being free. This is why I tend to regard freedom as an experience, not a state.

So, this is all we’re going to do this afternoon. It’s about 3:50. Have a bit of a break. We’ll meet back here at 4:30.