The questions that motivate you

Student: Could you speak a bit on the process of finding a path and finding a teacher?

Ken: I’m so glad you used the word “a” in there and not “the.” Finding a path and finding a teacher. Well, there’s a lot I could say about that, but if you don’t mind, where’s this question coming from?

Student: It’s coming from me, my interest in finding a path and in finding a teacher and also my experience of people close to me who have done that. And from the outside, seeing their experience and well, their specific choices might not resonate entirely with me. The completeness of their investment does, and is something that I feel a pull towards. And that pull I think is particularly in the search to have my own inner center rather than finding a center in a partner or in prospect of having a child or in a career.

Ken: Thank you. That’s very helpful. Okay. [Silence] I’m reminded a little bit of [Alice in Wonderland]. At one point Alice comes across the Cheshire cat and she’s just got away from the madness of the red queen. And she says, “Please sir, which way should I go?”

The Cheshire cat looks at her and says, “Well, that all depends, where do you want to go?”

And Alice says, “Well, it doesn’t really matter.”

And the Cheshire cat says “Then it doesn’t really matter where you go, does it?” “Well, as long as I get somewhere.”

“Well, if you go far enough, you will be somewhere.”

And it’s totally unhelpful, of course. But in the way that you worded this, somewhat similar to the person who just asked it, you find yourself pulled in all kinds of different directions. And there’s an old expression that used to be around in our culture, but has really fallen out of usage, and I’m mounting a one man campaign to bring it back. It’s called “an internal life.” And it’s very much about forming a relationship with all of this stuff that we experience in some strange way being inside us. Okay.

So a good place to start is with a very simple meditation practice. Ajahn Chah who is one of the great Theravadan teachers—a Thai teacher in Thailand in the 20th century—one of his meditation instructions was put a chair in the center of the room, sit in the chair and see who comes to visit.

It sounds very simple and it is very simple, but it’s not particularly easy because we keep getting caught up with the visitors. So, you know what you’re looking for, in terms of a path, in terms of where you’re going, and that’s really helpful.
And basically almost any form of straightforward meditation practice is going to help you there, help you with that. So, and it doesn’t really matter whether it’s Zen, Vipassana or Theravadan.

The Tibetan schools get a bit crazy because they have really complicated meditations, but there’s also very good stuff in there. You know, there’s other traditions too. But I think it’s also helpful to consider the questions that motivate us. And I find that in Buddhism, in general, the questions that bring people to Buddhism are finding peace or finding a way not to struggle. How do I not struggle with my experience? Which are very different from the kind of questions you might find people working with in Christianity. They are much more about, “How do I find something to believe in?” They have very definite answers to that, you believe in Jesus Christ. But most people who come to Buddhism are not trying to find something to believe in, you follow? Okay. So, for where you are now in terms of a practice, that’s probably sufficient. So let’s talk about finding a teacher.

You’ll listen, even when you’re completely crazy

Ken: The way you do this is go and listen to various people and hear what they have to say. Does it resonate with you? Does it make sense to you or does it strike a chord? In other words, does this person speak to you? That’s one thing that’s important.

The second part is a little more difficult. Is this a person you will listen to even when you’re completely crazy? Is this a person to whom you will listen, even when you are completely crazy? That’s your teacher. So first find someone that speaks to you and then see, do I listen to them? Does that help? Yeah. Okay.

The other thing is, pay attention to the students, because however they are is likely how you will become. So if they’re all in competition with each other, which often happens, or if there’s kind of an in-group and an out-group, these are things to pay attention to. Is there a gradually escalating requirement in terms of either financial contributions or service? That’s how people are involved in building institutions. Very often, they have this scale. Is this a person you can actually have access to and have a real conversation with? These kinds of things. I mean, in the old manuals advice to young monks says, “Do not go to very old monasteries or very new monasteries.” You know why? Because in very old monasteries and very new monasteries, there is so much to do you’ll never get a chance to practice. You’ve either got to be building them or you’ve got to be repairing them. So, don’t go to very old monasteries or very new, so very practical, things like that. Okay.