Working With Emotions

Q&A Session

It’s really interesting through meditation, when we’re out in the world we can realize, “Oh, I’m just about to become really angry.” And you want to work on that, but it’s impossible. “Okay, I’m going to be really angry,” and you feel yourself starting to heat up. You can recognize it. That’s something you’ve talked about. But, there’s so many different levels of it. You think you’ve handled it, then all of a sudden it just comes back at you, this huge wave. And then, “Okay, I can work on it coming back.” Is there a strategy for letting some of it go? How do you steam out so that it doesn’t keep catching you?

A close-up of a clenched fist striking a red punching bag, showing tension and impact as the hand meets the surface.

Resting in Experience

Q&A Session

Is there a difference between rest and observe? The reason I ask the question, I’ve been taught to observe, watch my breath. For instance, in my mind, the way I think, I watch it, I observe it, and I don’t deal with it or experience it. I just watch it. When you say “rest,” which is the first time I’ve heard that expression in this context, that to me says immediately that I’m going to experience it. I’m going to involve myself in it in some way. So I guess my question is, what is the difference between the two?

A leopard resting on the branch of a tree, its green eyes alert against a soft background of sunlight and leaves.

Bringing Life Into Meditation

Q&A Session

I would like to know how to bring the meditation into daily life. How, in the moment, to be able to respond rather than react? The more insecure and scared I feel, the less I remember—in the moment—to pause, and the more I respond habitually, usually not with kindness and compassion, unfortunately.

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Stepping Out of Distraction

Q&A Session

I have a hard time when I meditate and I just keep getting distracted. I get into organizing those distractions: “Oh, that’s planning,” and “Oh, that was a worry,” and “Oh, that was a memory.” I get so caught up in labeling.

Man wearing glasses and headphones, surrounded by several computer screens and looking at a mobile phone.

Working With Reactive Patterns

Q&A Session

My question is about a piece of advice that I’ve heard from you, Ken, on numerous occasions, namely: ‘In the face of confusion, go to the body.’ This seems like good advice. Yet sometimes the body seems to be giving contradictory messages. How is one to discern when the mind of the body is leading us to appropriate action and when it has been overcome by the force of pattern tendency?

Colorful, symmetrical abstract pattern resembling a kaleidoscope with vivid green, orange, and yellow shapes.

Practices and Traditions: Variations

Q&A Session

I was just curious, if you could spend a moment to define the differences between the various meditation techniques you mentioned like Theravadan and Vipassana. I’m wondering what the values are— different techniques, so there must be different values.

Black and white photograph of a person looking intently at a traditional weaving.

Practice Paths

Q&A Session

For lay Western students with limited resources and busy lives, is the Vajrayana path recommended if one can’t do the three-year retreat, is unlikely to get to the completion or self-initiation stages, or has very limited access to his or her root Lama? One hears a lot about the higher tantras being the fastest path to enlightenment, but can one accomplish very much in this life given the limitations mentioned?

Young child outdoors in a grassy field, holding hands to face like binoculars, looking into the distance.

Meeting Thoughts, Meeting Thinking

Q&A Session

I have no trouble becoming aware of my breath, of sounds, sensations, pain in the body, wind against my face. I have a little trouble with emotions, not always, but a lot of times I identify with them. Sometimes I can step out and say, “Ah, I’m getting angry,” and I can look at it as an observer. But what I have not been able to be an observer of my thoughts. It seems like when I’m thinking and the thoughts that I think, that’s who I am.

Black-and-white silhouette of a woman in profile with her hands on railing, thoughtfully gazing into the distance.

The Heart and Emotions

Q&A Session

For almost two years, my experience of practice, or life, is feeling like my heart is bleeding all day long, all the time. It doesn’t necessarily feel like a bad bleeding or a negative. It’s just very consistent. And, at first that felt like that was difficult or something I felt very conscious of. And now, it just is, but I’m relating to it in a way that doesn’t feel like I’m really resting. So I don’t quite know how to open up and rest because I feel like I’m going to lose something.

Smiling woman with long dark hair standing outdoors, hand over heart, with sunlight filtering through trees in the background.

Responsibility in the Student-Teacher Relationship

Q&A Session

Why do people leave a teacher? There surely are many reasons. I want to zero in on solid ones. I certainly understand if, say, there are scandals or if the student-teacher relationship somehow isn’t working out for one or both. But what I want to know is, why leave if there are no such problems? Do some students feel they’ve reached a plateau with a certain teacher?

Forest path splitting into two directions, surrounded by green grass and dense trees.

Sangha, Practice, and Becoming a Teacher

Q&A Session

I was wondering if you would say something about what happens in spiritual organizations. My experience has been that, there’s usually some sort of a political mechanism operating that is not spoken and that causes people to do things that are completely opposite from what they’re professing

Group of people dressed in white, sitting in meditation posture on a paved road in two long rows facing each other.

Impermanence and Identity

Q&A Session

I was wondering if you could touch on impermanence, dealing with death and the fact that it’s inevitable, that we are all created from the same things, and we all end up in the same place. It becomes ever so apparent to me in my practice because I’ve learned now that I’m not my material possessions. I’m not my clothes. I’ve come to learn that I’m not my thoughts. And as I grow a little older, I’ve realized that I’m not my body. So can you talk about how this relates to who we actually are, beyond our body, thoughts and possessions?

Surreal image of a man in a suit and tie with a bowler hat floating above his neck, head invisible, against a cloudy sky background.

Pragmatics: Finding a Path, Finding a Teacher

Q&A Session

Could you speak a bit on the process of finding a path and finding a teacher? My interest in finding a path and in finding a teacher is coming from me, and also from my experience of people close to me who have done that. And from the outside, seeing their experience—their specific choices might not resonate entirely with me. The completeness of their investment does, and is something that I feel a pull towards. And that pull I think is particularly in the search to have my own inner center rather than finding a center in a partner or in prospect of having a child or in a career.

Hiker walking along a narrow path through golden grass on a hillside, carrying a backpack, with blue sky in the distance.

Meditation Basics: Dependent Origination

Q&A Session

Ken, I have two questions: Here’s the first one: if there is no shared experience and separation is an absolute, please explain this in terms of dependent origination.
The second part of the question: please explain awakening mind and conventional mind in terms of practical application to meditation and everyday life.

Small stones balanced one on top of another on raked sand with concentric curved lines, evoking a Zen garden.

Life As Practice

Q&A Session

I would like to know how to bring the meditation into daily life. How to—in the moment—be able to respond rather than react. The more insecure and scared I feel, the less I remember in the moment to pause, and the more I just habitually respond with whatever—usually not with kindness and compassion, unfortunately.

Motorcyclist performing a high jump stunt in midair against a clear blue sky.