I’ve had sort of a bumpy year with a lot going on in my life and then some recent orthopedic challenges. And, what I found was I was very anxious for a while and it was very difficult for me even to sit down to practice. I had quite a bit of anxiety, so I shortened my sessions and made it through that. But most recently I’m sensing quite a bit of resistance in my practice. And I think what’s coming up for me is two things. One I’m feeling disillusioned, about where my life is, come to this point, but also some regret for past decisions. So I’m wondering if you could give me some guidance about how to make it through this particular phase of my practice?

As soon as I wake up I have a war in my head. I have severe anxiety about everything I have to do, places I have to be, people I resent, things that are bothering me, am I going to be late for this, how’s the traffic going to be? I can’t calm myself to sit and meditate, and just like happened today, at the beginning for the first few minutes, I was able to sustain my concentration on breathing for maybe 15, 20 seconds at a time. But as time went by I was thinking about everything that I need to do and what’s going on in my life and everything else. I want to really get into the habit of it, but I don’t know how to start in the mornings and get myself to sit and not worry about being late for something.

When doing bodhisattva practices such as taking and sending, and the 37 Practices of a Bodhisattva, how does one steer clear of moralism that is simplistic, fundamentalist, naïve and unrealistic?

I had a very bad injury to my tailbone and sitting for the last few years has just been nearly impossible. So, I don’t sit. I kind of lounge a lot! And so sitting here tonight, this is not a pain that I should be having. I can feel that it’s probably a destructive pain rather than a pain I should be with. And it’s extremely distracting and disruptive and agitating because I feel like I shouldn’t be sitting. I finally just put a pillow back here, which helped. But it’s really different from a pain that I’m willing to allow to work through or just to be with. And I don’t really know what to do about that.

I found resonance with a prayer that Ken translated and posted on the Unfettered Mind website called A Prayer Song to Mother Labkyi Drönma. Working with it seems to be a powerful way to increase feelings of devotion and openness. When I read the next to the last stanza, I come to a feeling of total blankness. This seems like a key instruction, but I don’t know what to do with it. What is pointed to by saying practitioners should combine the two rivers? What aspects of the Kadampa teaching should be joined with the mahamudra practices? Should I just sit in awareness with this blankness?

I’d like you to talk a little bit about karma, if you would. I have trouble accepting the whole thing. I understand the conditionality of causes and effects, but the long-term business, especially the reincarnation, past lives, future lives—that’s something I have trouble with. Can you tell me how you have accepted that and to what degree it’s based on your experience and to what degree it’s based on faith purely?

How should we read reports about the Buddha and his awakening and his vision of his past lives? It’s something I reflect on often. A lot of the reading I’ve been doing indicates that for one to have a serious practice or to make significant gains in one’s practice, that you need to believe in reincarnation. That stirred up a lot of reaction in me. Once I let that settle, I was wondering if that was true or not, what your thoughts or opinions were on it?

I’m going through a fairly turbulent period of transition or change—which I guess everyone is going through all the time—but this one is kind of sticky for me. In terms of practice, lately a lot has been coming up for me. I’m interested in better understanding and being able to discern the differences between justice—or standing up for oneself—and vengeance. Because for me those two things run real close, but I think that they’re really different things, and the latter is probably not so helpful or fun for the people around me.

Is there a difference between rest and observe? The reason I have the question is that I’ve been taught to observe—watch my breath, for instance. And in my mind, the way I think, I watch it, I observe it, and I don’t deal with it or experience it—I just watch it. So my question is: what is the difference between the two?

Around age 19, I started having panic attacks, the bouts come and go but recently I’ve had a series of especially terrifying ones. I’ve tried to use my sitting practice for help, but they keep coming. When they hit, I’m powerless to the terror and afterward it lingers, and I’m always scared for its return. How do I deal with my panic attacks?

Is having an ethical commitment always necessarily the best way to live through feelings and half awareness, which is what we’re doing in the vipashyana practice? Are those always in concert or is it possible that there may be instances where maybe it’s not very helpful to have ethics on your mind? Particularly when feeling like anger or a lot of negative emotions, I wonder if what they’re calling us to do may actually involve taking some kind of an action sometimes?

I have some questions regarding psychotherapy and Buddhism, and this is coming out of evaluating an experience recently, within the last year, of my mother passing away and being engulfed with sorrow and confusion and fairly overwhelmed by it. So, I sought out some psychotherapy, which was a very interesting experience, but in the end, not that useful.

One of the dedication prayers I learned from you—I really love this prayer—but it includes this line: “Give me energy to know that mind has no beginning.” And even though I say the prayer every day, I still don’t really understand what is being expressed in that line.